Unknown Rants

2008-11-23T23:09:00.002+08:00

I am supposed to study for Malay Studies paper tomorrow. But as per usual, I am procrastinating and I have a sudden desire to blog. Idiot. The very fact that I didn't blog as often was because I can't be bothered to update. But I just have to penn this tonight. I doubt people would understand or having the same wavelength thus, this is the only place to talk about this. HAAAH!

Because I spurred something.
I entered the World View worldwide production and am going to be featured in an interlude. With my own track and rap, even though it only lasts for a minute. This WV thingy is big indeed. Very big. So I submitted my entry and got the deal and unfeeling on what is happening with the WV project progress until today.

I added a few local established emcees and they said I should go out from the Underground and perform since they thought that I have content. Indeed, I am suprised since I have thought that all along, people don't listen to my shit. Well, maybe after the exams I'll think about doing my first public performance as iLLicit, not Hafiz.

I checked the mutual friends that Awkword has in common with me in his myspace profile. Indeed, there was quite a number of local acts and crews went through my website and from there joined the noble cause of supporting the WV project. I have been actively promoting the cause via my website. HAH! And all this while I thought that people don't dock on my webbie.

I suppose that is all I have to say. And good luck to myself and fellow friends who are reading this. All the best for the exams and once this week is done, I thought of attending the NUS after-exam party at Home Club on Thursday. Hmmmmmmmmmmm. CAN I?!

2008-11-07T23:07:00.002+08:00

I am counting the days since I last blogged.
Whatever.

I apologise for my very long absence in which was mainly due to my unwillingness to type and pen my thought down and publish it though the internet. What for. I am well-known for my unfeeling demeanor and lack of reaction to certain things. I don't even know what I am crapping about right now.

This past 1.5 months has been an uplifting, spiritual and fun experience. School, newly forged alliances, strengthening ties with friends and so on and so for. It later deteriorated into havoc and stress with all the workload coming in back and forth. Surprisingly, I think I did fairly good for my assignments, in view that I am in the highest stage of academic institutionalisation. Whatever. Even though I have completed my 7 essays, I still have to face my exams which is in 2 weeks time. I am worried. Mugging period - WHAT A DRAG.

Hidayat is touching down on Singapore tomorrow at 4pm. I doubt I could be at the airport to welcome him back since I'm going to burn my weekends in school for this whole month. Maybe I could just chill with my good old friend under the deck with fags around our fingers.

2008-10-14T22:41:00.002+08:00

I reached home at 10pm.
I am definately tired, and coming up next is a headache.
This stalemate is getting nowhere.
I am exhausted in this battle, in which I am still wondering who or what is the enemy and the ultimate objective of this battle.
Nonetheless I will fight through.

This is supposed to be vauge.
Just need to rant somewhere, and where else but here.

2008-10-13T11:11:00.002+08:00

I am in the library doing research. Backtracking a bit...

Been a while since I last updated. Plenty of stuff happened. And plenty of work to be done too. This year's Aidilfitri was largely anticipated and I was wondering why when the past 3 years of Aidilfitri, I was not looking forward for it at all. Nevertheless, I still could not enjoy the celebration fully since I have 7 essays to complete and to handed up this month alone.

Busy Bee. Me.

I don't really know what to update anymore. I don't know what to pen down. My thoughts are flickered, and I don't understand what I am thinking sometimes. The environment change, people change. I am now lost, nowhere to go.

Fortunately, I have my dearest.
Though she keeps scolding me and stuff like that, I know that it is for my own good. To keep myself in lane with the game. What the hell.

I am still Hafiz
I am still iLLicit
I am still problematic

2008-09-15T17:29:00.002+08:00

I am frustrated.
I applied for a loan from school to cover my expenses for the year, in order to support myself while I get a job. The shitty thing is that, the school used the money I borrowed to pay off the remaining fees, since I didn't get full subsidy from Mendaki. Now I have less for my expenses.

Time to get a fucking job.
Pronto.

2008-09-08T00:19:00.002+08:00

Listening to Blackrose - Penantian

Old skool Malay Rock ROCKS! I have been hearing to these nostalgic evergreen beats since yesterday and yes, it brought out memories of the heydays. The weird thing is that I didn't realise the treasures inside my desktop. To hell with me. Nothing better than a cup of 'jiwang', hardcore old skoo' shit boyz.

We changed the room's arrangement by placing the two computer tables on the other side of the room, and placed the new printer beside it onto a small table. Finally, a printer. Utter convenience. Haiqal was disappointed since the printer was not colour-enabled, since laser colour printers costs a bomb. Hell. Whats the use of colour printers, when you can print outside at a cheaper price. There's Peace Centre and Sunshine Plaza.

I slacked during the weekends. I did not even touch on my readings. Being guilty of such, I will start in a while after blogging (I hope so). I did part of my essay today and I have to go to the library to grab some books on internet research for citations and references. Its due next Tuesday. I hope there's time.

I organised an iftar for the Army boys and will be meeting them this Friday. Dinner at Ojalali and some sheesha bongs at Arab Street. I've been wanting to go Arab Street because of the lights in line with Aidilfitri. Woohoo. We're gonna cause some havoc there. Drug Boyz.

And tomorrow I am going to my beloved Boo.
1 week have I not seen you.
Nonetheless, I will hold you tight and be one again.

2008-09-03T03:37:00.003+08:00

I am currently mixing some beats together.
My initial plan tonight was to do my Political Science readings. Ended up discussing about music and making it. What the hell.

Its Kash's turn to produce the beat. We're planning to do a collabo again, this time on her terms. We agreed on doing a club anthem. I didn't want to steer away from my Conscious theme, but I have been secretly desiring to do a club mix and rap over it. Hope it goes well.

Ramadhan has been well. Its been 2 days now.

And I have 3 essay term papers to do and the first one is due next week. If I am not going to start now, I'll be dead meat. So tomorrow (or perhaps later in the morning), I'll be heading to the library and do my shit. And the Boo's Convo is on later on the evenings.

Will be meeting up my ex-classmates for breaking fast together, most probably this Thursday and also planning to have a gathering with the army boys, either on my birthday or Danny's birthday. Excited.

Beats . Under . Construction

2008-08-28T01:30:00.006+08:00

Listening to Nu Jazz, Lush 99.5 yeah. I am sleepy and I have Political Science lecture in the morning later. Hell yeah.

I didn't go to work today. Not going anymore. I've been thinking a lot. I don't think I am able to juggle a part-time job, school and a CCA. Went down to school today with parents to sign some loan agreement form. I decided to take a substantial amount of money for my living expenses for this academic year. I need time to scout for other sources for dough.

God Bless you rich kids. We ghetto kids are the best.

Back to reality. Once again. I am not myself anymore. Ever since I started my phase of education, I had never studied for every night, every day. Now, its all a different ball game. Delirious Hafiz to Studious Hafiz. I got readings, reports, assignments. Readings and revision every night. I can't afford to loose out. Why am I like such?

Maybe its the transition phase.
I need a ciggie. Or maybe a stick of weed.

Boy aka Suhardi got married last Sunday. I went down to the reception and met up old pals. Miss them indeed. I was curious on the fact that Boy never mentioned about getting the knot tied anytime soon. For God's sake, he's 21. As I assumed. He and his wife had a little 'bump' down the road. Or maybe womb. Sheesh.

It a norm.
Society chooses to make it a taboo.
Big taboo.
Nonetheless, the company was great.
Anyone else getting married soon?

2008-08-24T21:16:00.003+08:00

I am fucking happy right now.

I was surfing myspace and went into the World View Project website, to check if the album is out. To my suprise, the album was finally out. And what made me fucking elated was this.

iLLicit Interlude
vocals: iLLicit
beat: iLLicit

WHAT THE HELL! I am featured in the album, and i have my own slot in the CD and Awkword took my beat along with it. COOL OR WHAT. I can't wait to get hold of the CD and listen to fellow underground soldiers whom have contributed to the album. Hell.

Check it out here.

2008-08-14T02:22:00.002+08:00

Im already starting on my lectures. Fortunately, its only introductory ones. At least for now. I am not yet in my academic ala study mode. I am taking up 5 modules and for each one, I have to do reports and essays and exams. The reality of school is coming back to me. What the hell. Brace yourself, Hafiz. Its gonna be a bumpy ride. University life is a whole new game.

I am shit broke and still in search for a part-time job. Other that schooling and working, Im have decided to join NUS's Electronic Music Lab. Dedicated in the learning, creative self-production and appreciation of Electronic music. This three years will be war. A starting point. I have to put my planning and organisational skills in place. Hectic, hectic. Im breaking my head to pieces.

As for now, gucci shades.
At least.

2008-08-08T23:19:00.003+08:00

Time flies so fast when you are having fun. Seriously.

One year. Official. 080808. Still as strong.
We have been through thick and thin, together. Every laugh, every smile, every tear, every rant. My life revolves around you. Your charm, your grace, your lips, your gaze. Always as mesmerising from the first time I saw you. One year and counting. If God's willing, we shall be through till the end.

Every minute my feeling grows
Every second I love her more
Nurhuda,
With all my heart and soul

I love you. :)

2008-08-04T00:14:00.003+08:00

What a week.

I went over to school for various orientation talks and hell. Some many things to remember yet so little time. University education is entirely new since its more of independence rather than 'friend-friend'. I feel somewhat alone, even though Indra and Amin and a few familiar faces we around. Back to school. What a drag.

I think 70% of the faculty's student body is made up of our fellow female compatriots.

My cousin got married today and it was indeed a joyous occasion. Even though I was freaking tired since I was at the kitchen area, helping out for two days, it was indeed fulfilling having to engage with your cousins. And I was absent from such for quite some time.

I editted both of my new songs and I love 'Salvation'. Seriously. Simple, yet powerful. I recorded my voice-overs back again since the previous one was plain and boring. Now its in full force. Check it out fellow friends.

Support local talent. Yeah.
I am going to see my beloved Boo later.
YEAY!

2008-07-27T23:16:00.002+08:00

Its been a busy weekend. The fam had a thanksgiving yesterday at Marsiling. And my, the nieces and nephews are growing bigger. Nevertheless, I love them very much.

School is starting soon. 1 week , in 40 minutes exactly. And I am still searching for a part-time job. I got an interview offer as a camp facilitator under High Achievers. Some leadership seminar/camp shitty for shitty people. That could do. Inspire the young. Right. I might inspire them the wrong things.

Time is so thin. I lack the time I spent with the Boo though. She's very busy with the upcoming fashion show and school is starting next week for her too, and its her important year. I guess both of us have to make some time for each other.

Nevertheless,
Though we are apart, it feels stronger.
I love you.

2008-07-25T00:31:00.002+08:00

Finally!

My new track entitled 'Free' is already complete. I failed to create an ambient twist to it since it more of progressive rather than Hip-Hoppish but I still love it. And I have a featured emcee in the track and she's known as Lady Kash. And I love that part also. Engage in my music, people.

http://www.myspace.com/illicitb

2008-07-20T00:29:00.004+08:00

Hidayat came back to Singapore on Thursday and I met him yesterday when he came to pick me up. We chilled at Salleh's crib and came along Khairi Mok and later on, Mr Raja Ashraf aka nippleface. We talked the whole night and morning and decided to stop by Al-Amin because we were making too much noise in the wee hours of the morn. Old friends. Great stuff.

I spent my whole Saturday with the Boo and her parents. We went to a trip to Johor, since the main intention was to help me clinch great shopping deals. Honestly, the last time I stepped into Johor was like 5 years ago. (minus off the tagging-with-friends-to-fill-gastanks) We went to Jusco, Angsana, Danga Bay and City Plaza. Indeed, I had plenty of fun. To top it all up, we had nibblets at some warong somewhere. Cool or what.

After a day of shopping, I managed to obtain 3 tees, 2 jeans, 1 bermudas and 2 trucker caps. With only S$100. Fabulous indeed. And my favourites are my Akademiks Tee, in which retail prices would fetch around $80 but I managed to get it for $17, and my 2 truckers at only $15. Woohooo!

I will invade Johor soon. Very soon.

2008-07-16T22:07:00.002+08:00

A week without work and lazing at home is indeed utterly fabulous. Coming home late at night and working long hours. I have enough of the shit. Peanuts pay. No welfare. For example, my grandfather passed away last Sunday (God, rest his soul in peace) and I was manning the outlet. I told my manager but he kept quiet so I told Boss and he just have to apologize and telling me that he can't let me leave early. Thanks a lot.

School is starting really soon. I have only 2 more weeks to chill before heading back into the realm of education ala brain-rejuvenation. There is plenty of admin to be done, but everything is smooth sailing, for now. And I am proud of myself for doing everything, including miscellaneous payments by myself. Time to get a new job.

I am stuck in my sister's crib and I can't proceed with my vocal recordings. Sometimes I pity my sister, since taking care of kids when they are still very young is quite a feat. A salute to all mothers. Thus, I am here helping her out to look after my niece while she tends to the newborn. My final musical product has to wait then.

Singfest is really the highlight this year. ALICIA KEYS is in the HOUSE MIGGAZ. Unfortunetely, tickets are selling for $300. To hell with it.

2008-07-10T13:06:00.002+08:00

I have loved you. And I am still loving you. And I will love you.

2008-07-06T01:25:00.002+08:00

I am freaking shagged. I worked for 13 hours yes terday and it was a Saturday. Plaza is packed with people and I was freakishly busy. I am tired of blending the avocados. Heh. ANd yet tomorrow I am going to start in the morning. Fortunatey I will be doing half shift. Wooo.

Anyway I am going to quit from my present job. Due to several reasons: stupid filipino supervisor, Management with no welfare, peanuts pay, school approaching,. Mostly its about the job itself. Next week will be the last. Anyone has 'lobangs'? Well, of course everyone has lobangs (holes). Whateverniggaz.

Finally. I finished penning down my rhymes for my next two songs. I only need chorus for the 'Free' song and an interlude featuring Lady Kash. And I need my microphone. ASAP.

2008-07-02T21:04:00.006+08:00

I can't wait to get my hands on the Magix Music Maker 12 Deluxe and the Mini Condenser microphone, once it is delivered of course. I found a good deal from Ebay, since the music maker programme is sold around $100, which is the retail price. But I managed to get it at half the price from a local supplier on ebay. The condenser mic might be small, but just enough to record my raps and produce high quality sounds. Way to go jango!

Its mind-boggling, to know that when one doesn't have any spark, he would lay dormant for a long time. Only when that spark or inspiration comes, he would go all the way for his work of art, even though his brain was inactive for quite some time. It happened to me today. I perfected my 'Salvation' full length raps and already started on another song entitled 'Free'. I am already at my first verse and will be continuing later. And once I get my music gear, there will be more spark of brilliance spurting out from the dome.

We had a Canadian Pizza Feast yesterday. We had it take away and drove to Sembawang Beach and savoured our hefty lunch there. We couldn't take the heat nor the amount of food in our bellys so we headed to Northpoint Starbucks and surfed through friendster and laughed out loud about other people's profile. Lovely afternoon.

2008-06-30T01:29:00.002+08:00

I feel a sudden emotion of sentimentalism, after listening to Apit and Gang songs from youtube. You can hear it from the video right below from the previous entry. Heh. Supple lyrics, nice voice and 'jiwang'. Damned my niggaz.

I used to write poetry, in Malay and compiled it into a compact disc. I typed word for word using the notepad program and burned in to the cd. That was like 8 years ago and I don't know where the hell is the cd. Alongside this compilation, I wrote bits and pieces on paper but I didn't keep those pieces of paper. What the hell. Call me jiwang or sissy. That is how I express my thoughts. Hah. What gives.

Hafiz Jango is my name. Unchanged.

2008-06-19T01:17:00.001+08:00

Listen to this mat-reppers under the void deck ala da hood. He got a great voice though. Hah. Next Anugerah Star.

2008-06-19T00:43:00.005+08:00

Finally. I finished reading Khadijah Hashim's trilogies, after 6 years rotting at the book shelves. I bought the books when I was in Secondary 3 and never got to finish everything until now. What the hell. I noticed that she likes to apply elements such as life, religion and love. Kudos. To me.

Alhamdulilah. My sister has given birth to a bundle of joy. Mr Adli Irfan is his name. He has the features of his father. Now, Iffah has a little brother and I have another nephew and we have another addition to the fam. He was suppose to come home from the hospital today, instead only my sister and brother-in-law came back without Adli. He is still under observation and only going to be released tomorrow. Hell. Babies are not guniea pigs.

2008-06-15T23:43:00.002+08:00

I am going through my friendster friends' list. Checking out old friends that I have longed to see their faces and passing comments. Just a gesture. And I have quite a plenty of 'friends' in which added me even though they are from the Philippines or Indonesia or the USA. What the hell.

Finally, after 2 weddings and 1 engagement for 3 weeks consecutively, it is all over. I am seriously tired of doing the kitchen work. My cousin held his wedding reception today at Boon Lay. It is freaking tired. But then again, even though how much I hate the job, I will still do it, since I have been doing this wedding reception thingy ever since in primary school. It runs in the blood. Thanks to my over-large extended family, (both maternal and paternal sides) and my mother who keeps pestering me and my brother to help out for every wedding, even though the job is simple.

I noticed 2 teens who were helping us out with the dishes. They were clearing the excess food from the plates so that we could in turn, wash them. They were so slow and were afraid to get their hands dirty. Mind you. You are a guy. You are supposed to get your hands dirty and please do your work at a faster pace. But they were still willing to help so its okay. At least they are better than some people who just sit and talk and not help.

My sister is in the labour ward. Hopefully she will have a smooth delivery.
Another nephew. This family is getting bigger by the minute.

2008-06-12T14:15:00.002+08:00

My uncle passed away yesterday. The news was terribly shocking. I woke up, planning to head to the beach for some chilling, then my sister told me the news. My cousin, who is the deceased's son, told me he was all fine the day before. In addition, my cousin got engaged last Sunday. Joyous occasion and I stayed back to help clean a bit. He was all fine to me. May his passing be a lesson for all of us. May he rest in peace.

God can take us anytime. Without warning.

2008-06-06T15:07:00.004+08:00

Yesterday was freaking torture. I woke up in the morning feeling feverish and popped some panadol. The fever got worse and I messaged my manager that I might not able to come to work, but he told me there's no one to take my shift. It bites, since I took over 3 people's shift last month due to their reasons, and I didn't questioned or complained. So I came to work, still feverish and managed to complete my shift. I came home, feeling like a sore loser.

But the late night conversations with the Boo felt better. Heh.

Thank God I am 30% feverish today, only suffering from an irritating headache. I don't know what wrong with me. Even though I was very sick yesterday, I persisted in seeing the doctor and continued for work. What a stubborn fuck I am. Hah.

2008-06-04T00:32:00.006+08:00

Danny got his IC today, after being locked down in CMPB for nearly 2 years. Cheerios my friend. And after his departure, the legacy of the 'Stay-in Boyz' of the Quatermaster Branch has left with him. None has ever did what me and Danny did during our stint in Jurong camp. We did plenty of crazy shit. But most importantly was the friendship forged and brotherhood made. Good luck for your future endevours, my friend. May God be with you.

Tomorrow is my off day. Having a date with the Boo. Just a day with her, no one else. And yesterday while I was walking home, I thought of all the things we done, and thought of making a song entitled 'Tuff Luv' by iLLicit. Dedicated for the Boo. Wahooooo.

2008-05-30T16:19:00.006+08:00

The Misfits finally met up yesterday for Indra Mookster's birthday surprise. We dined at the Riverside Indonesian Restaurant. Food was okay-okay. Not that fantastic though. Hah. All went well and I enjoyed their company pretty much. Happy Birthday to our SangGems.

I got another job offer as a clerk at Evergreen Secondary School until end of July. I thought of working two jobs. Morning work at school as clerk and evening work as Ice cream man. Extra cash. Need it dude.

And I am heading to work in a few minutes. FUCK!

2008-05-23T00:19:00.003+08:00

Pringles, Ice water and music from Exists. I am so hungry. Each night I come home, there is either no food or i have to invent something on my own, in order to fill my growling tummy. Already at work I starve myself due to the fact that I am broke (only when really necessary, will I purchase food). I am already skin and bones, now only reduced to only becoming the likes of a cue stick.

I can't wait for Saturday. Gentarasa at Esplanade. A freaking break from work and a long due date with the Boo. 12 more hours of ICE CREAM!

2008-05-22T02:38:00.002+08:00

It seems that my life currently is so full of boredom.

Things that the Boo was yacking to me a while ago is still ringing up the dome. Maybe she's right. Once I get my first pay, I should relax a little, unwind and enjoy what missing for the past months. I miss family, friends, the Boo and what we call leisure time. I am like a pulled string. Damned. I hate that fact about myself, yet it is so true.

Gladys from NUS Student Union called me while I was cleaning up the stall. She asked me if I am interested in the Freshmen's Orientation Week on the first week of July. I thought it would a great opportunity to meet new people. It seems fun too. Maybe I should enroll. Or should I?

Yes, I have to unwind. Make time for my music too. I need to record my rap-overs onto the samples. Then I can already boast 5 singles in my hand as a self-acclaimed artiste. Hah. Right.

2008-05-20T00:09:00.002+08:00

What I have been feeling this past week. I penned it while I was sitting down, waiting for closing.

Dikala Tiada

Hiruk-piruk suasana
Sesak sungguh dengan manusia
Namun, di tengah tenggelamku
Ku masih terkenang engkau

Hatiku berat sayu
Dikala tiadanya engkau
Walau sementara
Ku menghitung detik-detik
Hari kan ku temui mu kembali

Keadaan tidak mengizinkan
Ku bersua denganmu
Menatap matamu yang bersinar
Membawaku ke paradigma kebahagiaan
Namun itu ku tega berdiri
Menanti saat kita kembali
Bersatu kembali
Menikmati pesta cinta bersama

Tidak pudar engkau dari fikiranku
Kerana engkau sungguh bermakna
Bersabarlah sayang
Demi Tuhan
Dikala tiadanya engkau
Ku tiada bernyawa lagi

Hope you get well soon, honey.

2008-05-16T00:46:00.002+08:00

Im going to make an assumption. During my shifts at Plaza, I will always have to attend to Filipino nationals requesting for avocado milkshakes. Without fail. Perhaps they have a thing over avocados. Maybe at the Philipines, there are no imports of avocados. Just an assumption.

Finally. I finished my full-length 'Salvation' song. Just need to record down the raps and all is done. All I need is some time and a condenser microphone.

2008-05-14T00:58:00.002+08:00

I've been coming home late ever since. Even though I am sitting down, making milkshakes occasionally and meeting a myriad of customers, this job is sure tiring, especially if you're working 12 hours. Hah.

Work has been fine lately. The Carrefour staff at PS are friendly and I made a few acquaintances. The world is indeed small, since the security guy who works the night shift knows about Farhan and Lydia from Pioneer JC. Wow. Other than that, all is well.

I am working so much, I don't really have time to spare for myself, let alone time with the Boo and friends. My cousin is getting married this Sunday and I'm only available for the reception on Sunday itself. And next month, 2 of my cousins are getting married two sundays respectively. Marriages. Whew.

Freaking broke. I have only a dollar is my wallet. Any kind soul would like to lend me a few dollars. I mean a helping hand?

2008-05-08T01:03:00.001+08:00

This is so freaking funny. Hot blonde singing RnB about Bush. Enjoy.

2008-05-05T01:15:00.002+08:00

Late nights. My body clock is changing dramatically. I've been working until late nights, since I was trained to do so. Tiring though. But working alone, with no one to boss you around or irritating crew members is indeed refreshing.

I went to Syikin's 18th birthday at Sembawang Park.. Syikin is the Boo's cousin though. Fortunately for me, we went during the afternoon and only Syikin's parents and her friends were around. If only I had to come at night, the whole fam would be there and I'll be hiding somewhere in Sembawang Park. Whoa. Lucky me, I was on the night shift so I had to leave in the evening.

Overall, it was all good. The Boo's aunt was very friendly and tried to make me feel comfortable. I am an F student in casual communication and migling with people. Heh. And I felt so old, with Syikin's friends were all around, all tender eight-teens. TEENS. Hell.

I am so hungry. Murtabak and Ironman please.

2008-05-02T01:09:00.002+08:00

I had a bad closing today.

Closing was fine. Boss came when I was about to close the outlet alone. After leaving some things, he left so I continued with my chores. When I was done, I realised that my Carrefour tag was missing. I always hang it around my neck and it was nowhere to be found. So I searched for it frantically. I searched the whole Carrefour outlet but to no avail. I didn't even realised that I was going to miss the last train. I reported my loss to the duty staff and he told me to deposit 20 bucks and the money will be given back once I found it.

I went to the ATM to draw out money. I was thinking at the back of my head and I was already contempleting of sleeping at town since I can't afford a cab to go home. As I was walking back to the midnight staff counter, I saw a glimpse of the lineyard on my reflection. THANK GOD! So I gave back the pass to the guy (nice guy though) and tried my luck for the trains. Unfortuntely, I ran out of luck but the bus back to Jurong was still around. Thanks to Naz, whom I bumped at the bustop, I managed to get a ride home.

What a day.

2008-04-28T23:48:00.002+08:00

Work is catching up. And the workforce has embraced me back in open arms. Time is running short. We couldn't spent as much time together. I really want you bad. Even though I met you just a few hours ago, I am still missing you. And once both of us are caught up with our busy lives once again, I will definitely miss your laughter. Lets do something together. And spent time alone. Just the two of us. Under the stars. Without any intervention. Only you and me. Before we walk into reality back once more.

2008-04-27T02:31:00.002+08:00

I am begining to hate the cash register.

I've been working for the past two days. Everyday for 4 hours, 8pm till 12 midnight at Suntec City. I was totally caught off guard by the F&B line. All my life having experience in various odd jobs, F&B/Retail is quite a toughie. So many things to remember, yet so little time. I am given training, under this girl who has been working there for 5 months. Thanks to her guidence, I am able to pick up most of the shit given. And after this training, I will have to work alone. Challenging indeed since I have no prior experience in selling GREEN TEA ICE CREAM AND DOING THE SWIRLLY-ICE-CREAM-ON-THE-CONE.

But I am still lost in the cash register and sales count.

And yes. I am now a certified Avocado juicemaker. Hah.
And do find me at Suntec or PS if you want free Avocado or Green Tea Ice cream.
RIGHT!

2008-04-23T15:52:00.003+08:00

I accompanied my dad to my grandfather's place. There was an aura of loneliness and sadness. Sometimes I pity him of what fate he is in right now. Maybe that is the will of God alone. The law of Karma applies to everyone. What goes around, comes around.

PHAROAHE MONCH is gonna be featured the World View mixtape. Alongside me too. Hah. Wow. Anyway, he is one true, raw poet. He's not too hot around, even though he's mainstreamed in the States. His words, arrangement, style and flow has a distinctive flavour. He ain't no negritude who raps about sex and money and the high life. Its all about the game. The true Game.

2008-04-21T23:26:00.002+08:00

I read this bulletin on friendster.com and I totally agree with it. Its about guys when in a relationship. Here it goes:

Guys don't care if you're friends withother guys. But when you're sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into theroom and you jump up and tackle him,without even introducing us, yeah, it pisses us off.

It doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we're still there.

We don't care if a guy calls OR TEXTS you, but at 2 in the morning we do get a little concerned. Nothing is that important at 2 a.m.that it can't wait till the morning.

Also, when we tell you you're pretty/beautiful/ gorgeous/cute/ stunning, we freaking mean it.

Don't tell us we're wrong. We'll stop trying to convince you.

The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence. Yeah, you can quote me.

Don't be mad when we hold the door open. Take Advantage of the mood.

Let us pay for you! Don't "feel bad". We enjoy doing it. It's expected.

Smile and say "thank you."

Kiss us when no one's watching. If you kiss us when you know somebody's looking, we'll be more impressed.

You don't have to get dressed up for us.If we're going out with you in the first place, you don't have to feel the need to wear the shortest skirt you have or put on every kind of makeup you own.We like you for who you are and not what you are.
Honestly, I think a girl looks more beautiful when she's just in her pj's.or my shirt and boxers, not all dolled up.

Don't take everything we sayseriously. Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the beauty in it.

Don't get angry easily.

Stop using magazines/media as your bible.

Don't talk about how hot Chris Brown, Brad Pitt, or Jesse McCartney is infront of us.I t's boring, and we don't care. You have friends for that.

Whatever happened to theword "handsome"/"beautiful".

*******************************************************

I agree with much of it.

2008-04-14T23:36:00.002+08:00

I have to attend a medical examination, in which is mandatory for NUS. And I have to submit my application for the Mendaki tuition subsidy and I have a Qualifying English Test to do in July. And I am still lazing around at home, jobless. Still no calls. Shit. Heh. I had too much to worry, till I forget about my passion.

Making music, spitting rhymes.
I have all the beats, but not the inspiration for the poetry. I've been sitting in front of the computer, playing as Romans and trying to become the master of the Mediterranean. Not engaging in any intellectual stimulation. Well, lets think positive. Much more healthier.

Money is such a troublemaker.

2008-04-09T15:47:00.002+08:00

I haven't been blogging for quite some time. I guess I don't know what to write about. Still the same. Searching for employment but to no avail. Maybe it lies in my choosiness and shit like that. And I am officially broke. No money. No honey.

But of course, I have my honey by my side.

8 months and going. Even though we've been through tons of shit and crap together, we finally pulled through. Time flies so fast when you're with your loved one. Especially when you're having fun with them. And I am enjoying every minute of it. With her. The one and only Boo.

Thanks for supporting my back, baby. Through tough times, and through beautiful memories.
Behind every great man, there is a great women.
And you are definitely the greatest!

2008-03-22T21:46:00.003+08:00

I am so lazy to penn down my thoughts on this internet-medium-diary-online thingy. I just don't know what to write. Life has been so routine lately. Wake up, check the mail, watch streaming movies, catch the telly, smoke my life away and eat till I'm fat. I am already growing a tummy. My brother-in-law already commented about it. This is what happens when you only sit your ass at home, unemployed and broke.

I need a spark. Maybe an inspiration for a new song. Or ice-skating at Jurong East. Or lazing around by the beach. Or chopping through the chlorine waters at some water theme park. Or travelling to a nearby county. I just need someone to plan out everything for me. All prepared, ready to go, Hafiz. I am tired of doing things for people. I can't be just helping other people. I need people to help me now. If they care to do it in return. Will do. I need that shit.

Or maybe some weed.
I'll pass.

I accompanied an old friend to his sister's engagement yesterday. I am tired of watching people getting engaged or married. Not being cynical though. I then thought, if it was my turn to face the 'tok kadi'. And that phase of life is not far behind. Gotta think of the future dude. I caught up with Salleh the whole day. I might seems gay-ish to see two guys spending time together. Hah. Nope. Just talking, maturely and mannered. How men supposed to talk. To wrap it all up, late dinner, Yong Tau Fu at Sinaran with an old pal. Fabulous.

Simplicity. How I miss it all.

2008-03-19T15:33:00.002+08:00

I feel feverish. What the niggaz.

Still lazing around at home without a freaking job. I sent my resume to a couple of companies through the net and I am just waiting for a reply. Hopefully soon. I feel so unproductive. Anyway, I won't be around until Sunday since I will be joining my parent back to Riau. Its been a year since I visited that tranquil abode. Trying to keep the peace in the dome.

And I am going to be featured in the World View Mixtape as a guest MC. Cool my niggaz. Since it will be distributed worldwide, my voice will be heard by millions. Hah. So what. Quite an achievement there. I will try my best to spread the word of love and truth through music. Watch out for the mixtape, which is due this August. Just go to my music webbie for details.

2008-03-13T15:07:00.002+08:00

Im at the National Library. Again. Blogging. My eyes are tired of scanning through this book about crack and cocaine. I just finished reading a book about the Holy Qur'an. Very interesting. The Holy Book contains everything, even about the falsehood of the Holy Trinity believed by the Christians and Jesus was not God but an apostle of God. And all about being a Muslim under the eyes of Almighty Allah and the guidence of our Prophet Muhammad S.A.W. And the Qur'an is sure powerful. Because it is the revelation of God, from the Heavens. Of course its powerful.

And I shame myself to call myself a Muslim.
I did not do my part as one.
I didn't even complete my Qur'an recitation.
But the belief in God is always up in the head.
Everything that is good comes from Allah.
Everything that is evil comes from Us.

I have been lazing around, jobless for almost 2 weeks. Still waiting for freaking calls. 2 days ago, this lady called me asking me if I would like to work in some school at Woodlands as some attendant. The other day, another lady called me if I would like to worl under MICA for some temporary assignment. What the hell.

I can't wait for school. My mind is rotting.

2008-03-09T21:29:00.002+08:00

I'm home. And I am so shagged. I was at Circuit Road washing dishes for some wedding reception. For the dough, fatigue is not an option.

The Malaysian Federal Elections was really a surprising twist of event. I was up yesterday night, tuning to Channelnews Asia with the Boo on the phone and blabbering about it. The ruling coalition, Barisan Nasional lost four states to the votes of the opposition. Surprising, since BN has been the rulers of Malaysia since independence, many would thought the win would obviously side with BN, or at least a landslide. Even the political commentators stated that the Malays in Malaysia are starting to voting for the opposition. Surprising, really since the Malays would naturally support BN since UMNO is the major component party and Malay Solidarity would be preserved.

And I believe that the People's Action Party can lose their grip in Singapore. If our citizens are more active politically and conscious, we can use the power of democracy to rid of our current master and usher a new era of democracy and a more vibrant political landscape. We can start with our younger generation. No more oblivion. More action. For democracy.

If Malaysia can do it, why can't we?

2008-03-08T00:06:00.007+08:00

I spent the whole day with the Boo again. Since it was pay day for me, we indulged ourselves with fooder and shopping at Anchorpoint. And we dined at Secret Recipe, since Pizza Hut was no longer existent there! Weee. FYI, if you guys wanna get stuff cheap like Clubmarc, Giordano or Charles and Keith, proceed there cause they have quite a number of outlet shops. Coolio.

yummylicious!

We finally caught 10,000 BC at Plaza today. Quite a good flow, an epic though. Great landscapes, but very dubious interpretation of History. I didn't realise that horses were domesticated by Man and used for war during that era and how the hell did woolly mammoths get into the desert?? Seriously. Despite the historical factuality, the movie is sure an epic.

I caught a few pictures. I think there is some meaning behind it. My personal interpretation. Hah.

within the crevasses of love

in loving memory: the phone booth

2008-03-06T23:26:00.004+08:00

I was at the National Library today. While waiting for the Boo to end her class, I took the time to surf the net and read up about the Gurkhas, Greek War tactics and weapons and smoking. So varied. What caught my eye was the topic on smoking. In the USA, beedee (the indian-impoted tobacco wrapped with leaves) are widely smoked by youngsters there, since there have various flavours such as root beer, strawberry and cola. Cool or what. And smoking one stick cuts down 12 minutes of your life. And by not smoking for 48 hours, the body will experience much positive changes.

What the hell. I smoke. Yet I read this shit. Well, I can't consider it as shit. Valuable data to save my life. I don't want to die without having to achieve my dreams.

The Seacare employment agency called while I was reading and they requested my permission to sent my data to MICA since they require manpower for an upcoming assignment. Hopefully I get the job. I can't be lazing my ass at home all month. I will need dough.

Guess it's the thug in me
Got my mind on my money man
I'm spending my time on the grind tryna shine
I'm concentrating on running thangs
-Krayzie Bone-

You can take the boy out of the hood,
But you can't take the hood out of the boy.
Hell yeah my Gz!

2008-03-04T22:47:00.002+08:00

We caught the latest local movie, 'The Leap Years' yesterday. I have to say, I has great expectations for the adaptation from Catherine Lim's novella. Great storyline, and poetic as expected but maybe too fairy-talish. Such a occurance would only befall on someone who is so freaking blessed with luck. A great ensamble of casting put together and very familiar faces. And I don't want to get married when I'm 36 years old. SO OLD. Worth the watch though.

I am broke and I am depending on the Boo for food. I am such a disgrace to the masculinity of Men. Nonetheless, I shall reward her on Friday with a great feast once I get hold of cash. For her loyalty and her willingness to feed me. Whatever.

I want to go to Maldives.

2008-03-02T00:37:00.002+08:00

I am at the living room of my parents' crib at Marsiling Drive and I can't freaking sleep. Tomorrow is Nayla's hair shaving induction. Early in the morning. What the hell. I miss my nephew and my newborn niece. At least the sight of them tomorrow will ease the heart. Oh well, I am missing plenty of things or people right now.

- My Misfits friends. Where the hell are you guys...
- My army buddies
- Old buddies from Kranji
- Ilhan and Nayla
- Going to the beach and laze around
- Teck Whye Sinaran's chicken rice and laksa
- Money

But on the top of the list is of course, the Boo. She went to Malacca this morning and coming back Sunday night. And already I miss her terribly. I miss her calls, her whines, her love. And its only one day. It really makes a difference when that someone is away overseas instead of being in the country.

Come home fast pretty please :(

2008-02-29T21:42:00.002+08:00

I am fucking baffled by how Mas Selamat Kastari was able to escape the Internal Security Department Detention Centre. The ISD is where they lock up political prisoners without trial and since political criminals are much dangerous than the ordinary civil criminal, the detention centre should be much more secure than Changi Prisons. He is so good.

Not that I am supporting his actions or whatsoever. And not that I support the PAP State but to revolutionise and galvanise the country into a Muslim state modelled by the example of Taleban Afghan and murder hundreds of innocent civillians and countrymen is so very wrong. Interpol has already been activated and our borders controlled tight by security forces. I believe that this JI soldier will be caught soon. Singapore is so small. Unless he managed to cross into Indonesia which is so freaking big and plan another assault on Singapore. That's scary.

That man is dangerous and has to be caught. For the good of the country.
I pity those NSF boys. Already activated. Patrolling 24 hours a day. Hold on. For the country. And I am still baffled by his escape.

2008-02-29T20:17:00.006+08:00

What a day at work today.

Since it was the last day of work for both of me and Isnan, we had another Swensens treat by the Airworthiness/Flight Ops sistaz. Me and Isnan are so lucky. I sabotaged Isnan by telling the sistaz that he have the hots for Farah, the attachement student from Singapore Poly. One of the sistaz wanted to introduce Farah to Isnan. And yes she did. Way the go.

To top it all up, our supervisor bought us a farewell gift. A freaking Parker pen! whatisshethinkingniggaz. Cool. I might be working there again, if either one of the sista contacts me to inform that my contract could be extended. And I'll be lone ranger since Isnan won't be there anymore. Lets have a tour in my humble abode.

the 'O' great compacter. plenty of old shit there.

window view from the store. im sick of planes

my 'bed' an 'pillow'. might be uncomfortable for others. heavenly sleep for me.

As for now, I shall have my long due awaited rest. I only had 3 days of rest after ORD, then I was called up to work for CAAS the next day. Shitty. Working sucks and I can't wait to be back in school. The brain is rotting. Anyone for some intellectual stimulation? Or maybe some other stimulation... Kidding.

2008-02-27T22:07:00.005+08:00

The Scarlet Hotel was magnificent. Beautiful, I must say. I went for the interview and all was well. I was hoping for a full-time position but due to matriculation in 5 months time, they had to turn me down. But they offered part-time as a bellman though. They'll call me during the weekends, in which I doubt so. Heh.

And so I brought my lappie along. Tested its ability to connect to the network at any tom dick harry place. And yes, it proved to be an invaluable asset for any Internet-mongering-always-need-to be-connected people.

I met the Boo today. Its been a while since we spent the whole day together. Lunched at the good, old Cahaya and walked around town, being random as always. We were so random till we caught the new movie 'Meet The Spartans'. It was a parody of the movie '300'. The nation of Mighty Militarised Sparta was reduced to homosexually charged males clad with muscles and ridiculious anticts. A movie well worth a watch on the DVD if you're into stupid humour. Next upcoming: 10,000 B.C!

pretty people (i got big hair)

I have so much things to buy. Here's for starters:

- Lacoste white sneakers
- Tons of Hollister Polo shirts
- Topman cardies
- Casual pants
- Basic plain tees
- Another Air Force One
- Sandals and slippers

I just love this picture of her. Looks cool. Of course. Because it was taken by your one and only Mr Gigi Besar. WOW!

coolio

2008-02-26T23:32:00.002+08:00

Im not working tomorrow. Instead Im heading to the Scarlet Hotel at Tanjong Pagar for a walk-in interview. I looked up the place on the net and it is fucking dope! Like seriously dope shit. Chic, pretty, pomp and stylish. Im trying my luck as the bellboy there. It stated there that one should have good communication skill and eloquent speech in English.

I have to look presentable tomorrow. Yet my freaking mane-like hair is the only obstacle. It is so untidy. I rushed to the barber after work but I was too late. Looks like I have to find a barber in the morning.

I met the Boo today. I am so grateful that this stupid airport job is ending. At least I got some time to spent with the darling Boo. Soon, she'll be busy and I'll be busy. Then no more time to spent with each other. Nonetheless, tomorrow we shall have a blast, once again. Even without dough, ya!

I like to read Women's Mags with the Boo. I am a weird male.

2008-02-23T16:57:00.005+08:00

Finally.
My drop is done and I am so loving the chorus. Hah! The effects and noise. Everything. I just need to send drop to Awkword.I hope iLLicit, the Budget producer in a Small Island gets a spot in the remix tape. Support. I need support. Haha!

Anyway, if anyone who reads this does not know the progression of my music carrer up till now, I shall enlighten you now. I am currently on a project. To be exact, its called the World View Project. This emcee/producer Awkword from Connecticut, United States is calling various underground producers and emcees to contribute to the mixtape. Either by contributing a remix on the songs requested or just by dropping a hook to him.

He messaged me on myspace and requested if I could record for him a drop. I have already done it and already sent to him. Now, all I have to do is wait until the competition has declared the victors, those who earned their spot on the mixtape. It will be distributed worldwide, aiming to spread the message of peace, pacifism and harmony to the globe.

ALL (100%) of the proceeds from sales of this album -- as well as the Album Release Party event -- will be donated to Guns 4 Cameras (G4C), a.k.a. Aim to Live, a registered 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization dedicated to eradicating violence worldwide through arts, education and empowerment.

Its my time to shine, while spreading the truth to the World.

Engage yourself,
iLLicit - WVP Drop (Salvation)

2008-02-21T00:33:00.002+08:00

I am the biggest asshole in the world
And I feel like shit right now.
The word 'sorry' doesn't seem to have any meaning at all.

I do not know who to blame. Who is at fault.
It seems that I am the evil one. Always.
I have to step up my game.
Before I lose out.

Maybe that is why history happened.
I do not want it to repeat again.

2008-02-20T00:19:00.002+08:00

I headed to camp after work to collect the platoon's shirt. Chilled with Sabree and Danny. Sabs bought murtabak and ciggies for me. Wow. So touching of him. Talked about life and work. I missed them, and the camp too. Hah. Its a love-hate relationship when it comes to National Service. When you're serving your time, you just can't wait to be released. But when you are out of the service, looking back, I sort of miss the times. Every male will experience it. Its a guy thing. Haha.

I am so freaking hungry.

The i-Talentstar Launch Party at MOS will be tomorrow. Lady Kash put me on the guest list. I asked her to put Indra's name in too, since I'm meeting him tomorrow. Who knows, she might be rapping to my beats. I could be in the limelight too. Hah. Big deal.

P.S: Don't get streessed up ya, honey. Just take a whiff of the flowers I gave you. (If its still alive!)

2008-02-17T20:43:00.002+08:00

I am so lazy to work tomorrow.
Photocopy, photocopy photocopy for 7 hours.
What a bore.

I followed my sister, together with her husband and Iffah to Philips at Toa Payoh. She just bought an LCD television moniter and came down to redeem some $500 voucher from Philips. They got a home theater system. Coolio. And the stuff at the showroom are pretty affordable. I could get those stuff with my measly pay.

Should try Creative showroom at Jurong East. Considering an MP3 player.

There's this i-Talent Search on friendster.com and its encompasses the South-East region, including Singapore. One of the contestants requested for my help in aiding her on producing a beat for her to rap on, in conjuction with the Talent Search Showcase at MOS this Wednesday. Why not? Since my creation will be aired in the club. Hah. Fo'real. All the best.

Interested to vote? Hollaback: http://www.italentstar.com/

I am so a Lush 99.5 FM fan.
Orgasmic to the audiophile.

2008-02-15T00:44:00.003+08:00

I have been missing for such a freaking long time.

Hello anyone out there who is reading my blog. I understand if its not frequently visited nowdays since I was dormant for almost a month. Blah. So much things happening around. So little time. Where should I start...

Ended my military conscription and onward with civillian life. I obtained a job only 2 days after my release. by the way, I got Outstanding Conduct for my military record. Anyway, I'm currently working at Changi Airport. Archiving old documents. And I really mean old. Documents dating as early as 1957. Before independance.

ORD LOH!

Suprisingly, my colleauge was Isnan, a long-lost college pal. Caught up with old times. Work is somesort a bore and the travelling is indeed a freaking shity routine. But the pay's good, even though the job is easy and laid-back.

I clubbed with the army guys at Zouk last 2 weeks. My feet were already itching since I forgotten. We were celebrating Sabree's birthday. Partied till my feet grew blisters. House grooves all the way through the night. Hah. That's the last. No more.

Whuddup Gz

Going to get terminated on 2 March and I need to find another freaking job before the Gz run low. My sister-in-law has a newborn daughter. Another addition to the Rohanis. And my sister is expecting a baby boy soon. Another addition. The family is indeed growing. And Im going to be an uncle of 2 nieces and 2 nephews. Wow.

I suprised her with flowers and chocolates today, since its the V day. She was so elated. Heh. And my intention to suprise her worked. There were so many couples at Esplanade. So cliche.

Nontheless, I love her still. As always.

2008-01-16T08:05:00.000+08:00

The computer at home is down. Thus, explains my absence this past weeks. Much things happened though, and all is good. I have been job-hunting extensively. Called a few but so far, I only went for only one interview. Lame-o.

I went to the Ministry of Information, Communication and the Arts (in short for MICA, so long) for an interview. All my life in the workforce, I have never been for a job interview, since all this while, I've been doing odd jobs like cleaners and movers. All those back-breaking labour. There were 3 panels and they explained to me the jobscope. I was nervous at first but all went well. Simply phrased, it is on accounting and finance. I don't really mind, since I have relevant experience in the Army handling invoices and delivery orders and doing online payments for my superiors. Just hoping that they will call soon. If not, job-hunting again.

I feel so uncomfortable wearing officewear...

There is a new addition to the lime though. My sister-in-law has given birth to a baby girl. Her name is Naila Najwa. So fanciful. Kids nowadays have long and fanciful names. Nevermind. As long as the meaning behind it is good. 2 nieces, 1 nephew. The Rohanis are growing strong.

2 more days and it shall be freedom.
Nonetheless, I will miss my 2 year stint in the Army.

2008-01-03T20:10:00.000+08:00

I am at freaking camp right now. Danny and Bernard are lazing at the sofa and only silence fills the cold air around me. Jangorism.

I already constructed new beats. Upcoming new song but I have no idea what to write about. It has a 'good feel' kind of tune. And I thought of putting up a lady's voice as a hook. I am tired of listening to myself sing all the time. Maybe a collabo? Or just make use of what I have now. The Boo? Heh. She's considering though. Maybe a song about the positives of life or some shit like that. And I'll have to squeeze out my brain juice.

2007-12-31T13:00:00.000+08:00

Once again my weekends were burned as I was working. Its my third time getting myself involved in this wedding services thingy. Though its hard, back-breaking labour, it fast and easy cash. Well, maybe you'll have bodyaches for a few days. The wedding was held at Hougang and after packing all the shit, we headed to Furama Hotel as the guys were to perform the kompang and gamelan ensemble for some wedding between a Malay guy and a Chinese gal. I was just there to catch the show and indulge in some breadsticks on chocolate sauce. Here we go.

Guests awaiting to enter the ballroom

Our Javanese costumed clad heroes ready to perform

The Gamelan Performance on stage

Im just got home after going out on a date with the Boo. We caught National Treasure 2 and its pretty engaging to the mind. Conspiracy theories and shit like that. I'll give it an 8/1o rating. Anyway, we headed back home before the crowd sets in for the countdown parties for the onset of 2008. Its happening islandwide though. And Im not regretting for not joining the fun. Crowds, brigands and trouble of sorts would come about. I rather stay home and chill. Tomorrow will be another day, just that the '7' changes to an '8'.

Anyway, Happy New Year and all the best for 2008!

2007-12-28T19:24:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, I do not understand the nature of humans. When there is a chance to achieve Enlightenment and reaping the benefits of freedom and democracy, they do not see it. All that Man sees is power. We thirst for power, disregarding morals, ethics and life. Fellow countrymen murdering their own countrymen in the name of a power struggle.

And now we see the demise of a great stateswoman. An able politician that would promise a brighter future for Pakistan. An advocate of democracy and the liberal ideals. She was to aid her fellow countrymen to escape the grasp of the totalitarian Military government. However, her time ran out. Instead, people do not see in depth. People only see flaws. And death came upon her, despite the fact that the elections were about to be held next month.

Fiery, determined, strong, capable.
All in the touch of a woman.

Benazir Bhutto.
Will always be remembered.

2007-12-27T15:23:00.000+08:00

Im at home now. On medical leave. Too lazy to drag my ass to work. And Im bored to the bone. Anyone up for Teck Whye's Chicken rice? I am freaking hungry. And I am about to leave service in 2 weeks time. Woohoo!

SOMEONE BUY THIS CONDENSER MICROPHONE FOR ME PLEASE!

What the hell. It costs around $260 but it the only USB condenser microphone in the market. Recording would be a breeze and without any noise disruptions. It is only sold at Bras Basah Complex, at Swee Lee Music Company. And I saw the Magix Music Maker Deluxe 12 at Causeway Point and it costs around a $100. For I am an advocate of the Magix Softwares since the music maker programme version 1 was released, I shall stay loyal to the Magix Enterprise and continue to patronise its products.

iamsofuckinghungryandsofuckingboredandlonelyandlazy

2007-12-25T14:21:00.000+08:00

Somehow, this world needs a change. From all the lies and facades. From all the blood and cries of innocent children. From ignorance and arrogance. From our volatile natures. Humanity is so strong, yet so fragile.

Just a thought in mind on this globe we call home.

It never came across my mind that people read my blog. Well, maybe the Boo and Indra but he doesn't link to anyone. I donned my Tim boots to Rina's wedding reception on Sunday and they kept asking why am I not kicking with my new Air Force. Bah! At least there are READERS to my measly blog.

The Misfits at Rina's Reception

whatashockinmyfuckingunderwear.

One last week and December will end and the year 2008 Anno Domini. My dreams shall be fulfilled. For the meantime, I'll be flipping the newspapers at camp and search for my dream job. Time to roll out the Gz.

2007-12-20T19:40:00.000+08:00

Im headingback to camp in 2 hours time.
Sheesh.
No problem. TGIF!

I didn't realise that my brother's birthday aka thanksgiving gathering was amongst the lime. My mum invited the extended lime together. Blah. I whispered to her in the kitchen while she was cutting her marble cake. Nonetheless, everything went out smoothly and from the looks of it, the lime interacted with her and everything seems to fit place in a pretty picture. Thank God. And my mum likes her too, and her marble cake, apparently.

I want to catch National Treasure 2.
Bah!

2007-12-14T23:55:00.000+08:00

I had a blast this past week.

We went bowling at Safra Mount Faber on Thursday. Even though we aren't professional bowlers, we had fun throwing the ball without any skill or what so ever. And I am obsessed with what Safra have to offer, with its numerous discounts in numerous outlets. 3 more years to go before my membership ends.

The outcome: She won 2 games out of 3. I'm such a loser. Hah!

And today, both of us became the 'Town People'. We wondered around Orchard Road from 1pm until 8pm. With no direction and plan. Hah. Windowed shopping, people watching and plain chilling. And I had fun. Just being random. And I bought her chocolates. Heavenly.

And to end it, we had a sushi spread at the step of Ngee Ann City. Simple, yet pretty.

Yummy!

2007-12-12T22:37:00.000+08:00

I am freaking elated today.

I was feeling down since she told me that the shoe she ordered for me wasn't available. I liked the freaking shoes. I was like rambling to her about the supplier's friend accidentally took my shoe by mistake. Stupid. So I continued with my medical checkup in the afternoon, hoping that it was just a prank pulled by her.

Guess what.
It was a prank!
And I got these babies.

Nike Air Force One, Limited Edition.
As like I always say in my book of vocabulary.
'Jango!'

Thanks, honey for the present. A brilliant way to surprise me and dropping my guard. Except for the excuse on the friend mistakenly took my shoe. Bah! What an angel you are. And tomorrow I will flaunt my shoes to the world and don my feet with these gangsta kicks. Heh.

Thank you, baby.
Thank you, baby.
Thank you, baby.
Thank you, baby.

2007-12-09T17:33:00.000+08:00

My girlfriend is out at Johore.
And I miss her.
I am so bored.

I've done 2 of my ORD medical clearance. Only leaving the main medical checkup on Tuesday. I am so fucking elated. 1 more month to go. And I will scram from the clutches of the Army. Looking back, the two years in service has been a joyride and a nightmare. Underwent many changes in my life. Nonetheless, the memories I will cherish for the rest of my life.

I thought of working in the hotel industry for the the time being, while waiting for matriculation. Since Singapore steadily growing into a tourist hub, why not get involve in it. Who knows, having such an experience the the field would prove a valuable asset in times to come.

Life is as per usual.
Happy 4 months, honey.
On going.

2007-12-04T00:22:00.000+08:00

Finally, the comfort of home.

3 days missing. I was running from one wedding to another. Its been some time since I worked like a dog. And this time, it was really working like a dog. Hard labour, cooking, cleaning, 2 hour night sleeps. And now, my body is aching and im feeling feverish. Nonetheless, it was rewarding. New comrades made, new experience gained, cash on hand.

And MC tomorrow. Heh.

We were waiting for our HIV screening at the medical centre this morning. However, there was some complications, so we decided to linger around. After waiting for 4 hours, it was our turn to draw blood. Hah. And I was nervous as im phobic with needles. But what is done is done. And my arm still aches. Pussy me.

To see her after going missing for 3 days was indescribable.
Even though im sick and exhausted.
Her sight always soothes the day.
Thank you, love.

2007-11-26T23:55:00.000+08:00

Indeed I had fun today.

Lunch by swan lake, specially prepared by Her, and specially prepared for me. I was so touched by her simple yet such meaningful gestures. Simple lunch and chasing swans and walking around the garden and savour the greenery. The simplicity was full of thought and meaning. Especially with Her around. How can I not love her more?

Reading Cleo together at Esplanade and having dinner at Marina. Simple chats by the stairways and shouting at Indians and young rookies. About life and love. Simply beautiful. What a day spent. And please. How can I not love you more everyday?

Of course, we shall go trekking.
I know a route from the Dairy Farm at Bukit Timah that goes all the way inside the jungle until we reach Macritchie Reservoir. I hope you can take up the challange! :p

2007-11-24T00:55:00.000+08:00

I cleared my half day off today.
Just counting down the days to freedom.

Work has been a breeze so far. December is coming soon and many people will be clearing their annual leave. The camp will be like a ghost town. So I will just attend work and laze around like an asshole. I have just received a letter from NUS in which asking me to re-confirm on which cohort will I be joining next year. I confidently placed myself on the August cohort. More time to make the dollars.

I was walking down to P.S with her this afternoon and I was attacked by this elephant. Some Citibank mascot trying to be funny. He dragged me and pulled me into this compartment. I was instructed to pick up as much coloured paper while it is flying all over me. So I did. And I get a set of paperclips because I didn't manage to get 10 coloured slips of paper. Never mind. What a day.

Spending the week with her is just lovely.
And I got a prezzie from her..........

GAP dongs...
COOL OR WHAT!
Thanks a lot, my dear!

2007-11-18T01:57:00.000+08:00

Just got home and my back hurts.
Its been some time since I worked like a freaking dog.
Nonetheless, rewarding.

And I can't wait to see my angel.

2007-11-16T18:58:00.000+08:00

I am stuck in the freaking Ops Room.
Nevertheless, this will be my last division duty. Woohoo!

Counting down the days. The date for my dental and medical review are already out. Next Tuesday I will be out for the career seminar held at Clementi camp. I have already handed over my appointment as Quatermaster Clerk in which I have held with high regard for almost 2 years to my understudy, PTE Md Sabree. As for now, I will be lazing my ass in the office until my Operationally Ready Date and be oblivious to any work given. This is so good.

After duty tomorrow morning, I'll be heading straight to Sengkang and work. Its some wedding services in which is owned by Saifullah's significant other's father. I'll be working my ass of tomorrow. Need cash. Need to work.

And I am missing you so, dearest.
I hope to see your captivating smile.
Soon.

2007-11-11T16:19:00.000+08:00

I had sheesha with the Misfits yesterday. Meeting up with an old friend. And meeting the whole crew. And I bought a cardigan. At last! Finally! Indra is looking fine. Everybody is looking fine. Great. And she is still a sheesha addict. Chill, baby. Don't get too high ya? Hah.

Steam 'kodok' everyone.

My mum asked Huda along back to my village Kampong at Riau for this Christmas. Shocking. I never though she would ask. Funny. But its great. I hope she can tag along. What a blast it would be. Great. And Im heading back to camp later. At night.

2 more months. Incoming!

2007-11-07T18:43:00.000+08:00

Thanks to my freeking Division duty, Im left all alone here in office, ranting on my freeking blog. Thanks. Thanks. And tomorrow's Diwali. Yeah. GO figure. Back home only till 8 tomorrow morning.

So far, life has been a breeze. Slacking during work, awaiting the time to be released. Spending more time with her, every second is bliss. Everything is going as planned.

The trip to NUS was quite a horror. Such a freeking big piece of land. And they have hostels that emulates the likes of an exclusive condominium. Cool or what. The thought of being back in school excites me. My faculty's location is prime, near the Kent Ridge Bus Terminal. Back to intellectual stimulation. Being stuck in the Army for 2 years makes you brain-dead. Seriously. And I decide to join in the August intakc. Joining early requires extra payment and extra pressure. So, I shall make money for 7 months before matriculation. Yeah.

Heading to Encik's house tomorrow since he invited the platoon to his house to celebrate Diwali. Thanks.
And I shall see you, my love.

2007-11-01T17:46:00.000+08:00

Im back home already. Freaking early since no superiors around. (Myself being the highest ranking personnel in the platoon.) Decided to dismiss early. Work has been a breeze so far. No hiccups so far. Tomorrow's there is Happy Hour and Im staying back to help out. Not minding, since we'll be awarded with 1/2 off. Cool.

Yesterday was a touching moment. I was freaking nervous, even though Im singing in front of her, alone, on the roof top terrace of Esplanade. My voice was shaky though and the lyrics that I memorised during my journey there suddenly dissipated from my head. Nonetheless, it was a moment to cherish. Can't blame me. It was my first time singing to a girl and singing a song that I wrote about her. Heh.

Listen (If you want to).

For you, baby.
Happy Birthday.

2007-10-29T20:36:00.000+08:00

So long since I blogged.

Changes. New office, new environment. Its much more cleaner now and having my own private cubicle (half of a cubicle, i guess) for my own personalised deco. Its already coming to November and I am so slacking right now. Major events has passed by. The mood has set into my dome and I'm freaking lazy to work nowadays. Work has been a breeze though. Not much things at hand and having an assistant by my side has made it more smooth-sailing. 2 more months. It is all over.

Hafiz's cubicle.

I'm planning something for her 19th birthday. Nothing special, just something small. But that small thing is a confession from my tiny heart. I can't wait. COOL!

2007-10-23T00:07:00.000+08:00

Its been quite some time since I blogged. I'm not really bothered about penning my thoughts down here anymore. Its seems like there's so much happening and all is going too fast. To dictate what has happened would be windy. Nonetheless, we will stay strong. I hope that all this will go well, as planned, as how we wanted it to be.

As for now, my cerebral need a re-charge.
Give me a boost.
Let's overthrow the neo-facists.

2007-10-19T00:48:00.000+08:00

Aidilfitri was as per normal. Like any other year. But having to celebrate with the whole family was always much appreciated. Other than the visits, snacks, ketupats and diarrhea, Hari Raya Aidilfitri was the same old routine.

Its been quite some time since I spent some quiet time with her. And I am so fortunate that Encik allowed me to take leave today, only after telling him the day before. I guess due to the fact that I'm going to leave soon, he is slowly lifting his fingers from me. Great. Anyway, quiet time at the beach with the company of the sea breeze was perfect. Only the two of us. And yet I still crave for her more.

I'm going out ber-raya with the Misfits this Sunday. This Sunday will be the day of infamy. Well, I wouldn't say infamy though. Hope it would turn out good. If you know what I mean. Heh.

2007-10-12T10:26:00.000+08:00

I'm going back to Marsiling a while later.
I feel like a total nomad. Moving from this house to another. Throw me a groundsheet and I can sleep practically anyway.

Reflections: This Ramadan wasn't a fruitful one for me. It is supposed to be a month of submission and reflection towards the Almighty and seek our inner self. Should I blame the lack of time? I shouldn't. Maybe its the lack of willingness in my part. Thus, spiritually there isn't much change. It takes time.

However, this Ramadan was indeed a tough one. Being so freaking busy with work, having to stay long hours, under the mercy of the sun and rain in the jungle, being the only one fasting while the rest are happily indulging food and cigarettes, getting into stupid fights over small things and so on and so for. Yet, I prevailed (maybe 3-4 days of not fasting) and I believe that if you put your mind to it, anything is possible.

And to top it all up, sheesha.
The last time I broke fast with her for the month.

So random. But I love it.

Tomorrow is Aidilfitri. Time flies so fast. Get ready to tear tomorrow morning. Hah!
For those who are reading this blog (if there is, of course), I would like to wish everyone Salam Aidilfitri. May we triumph over our evils and may God forgive our sins. If this blog is degratory in any way or means, please forgive the content for the blogger is sometimes an ignorant fool. Thus, I seek forgiveness.

And as for You, I love you.
I can't wait to see you in that kebaya of yours!

2007-10-10T13:14:00.000+08:00

It seems like forever since I came home.
Home sweet some. Like seriously.

What a week. Hell week has ended and I am so happy. Ration party, going back through and fro to the jungle to support our people by sending ration. On top of that, I was fasting and the weather was freaking hot. There was one day, it was raining heavily and I was bringing the guys to the field. I was freaking wet and cold. Just feel like giving up but I kept to my ground. No more outfield and shit for me. Because its time to chill until 19th January 2008.

I was exhausted, both physically and mentally.
Its just hard when you're away from your loved one. Its seems like forever. I was tired. Arguing about the simplest things. Never mind. Its is all over.

And I shall beckoned you, my beloved.
You will be loved.

2007-10-06T01:15:00.000+08:00

I am home. After another Hell Week. I have to endure for another 2 days next week. Then Hell Week will end. Army is a bitch. Fuck. 3 more months and I shall be free.

Keep the faith, baby.
Good things will come.
We shall prevail!

2007-10-01T00:53:00.000+08:00

I have always envisioned such:

1) Living in a bungalow by Sembawang Beach, the one with the jacuzzi
2) Owning a Honda Integra
3) Having my own Clothing/F&B company of my own
4) Beautiful, loyal companion by my side
5) Loads of cash at hand

I am so materialistic. Who isn't?
We are living in a society where money and status is highly regarded.
Then again, contention is always achievable with simplicity.

I did some quiz on my personality and it deduced that I am a politician. What the hell. Am I destined to be one? Bah! What chances. And I also did a quiz on sexual attraction, and it deduced that I am influenced by looks, personality and environment equally when it comes to seduction. Cool or what.

Facebook is one interesting social website.
As for the beautiful, loyal companion as stated in point 4, it will always be envisioned.
Simple or extravagant.

2007-09-29T01:42:00.000+08:00

I am so busy this past few days, since I neglected work for almost a week. Phone calls, running errands and getting fucked in the brain. I even brought my work BACK HOME! How lame is that. And my understudy doesn't really help. Okay, maybe its my fault for not teaching him yet. But I was too engrossed with work.

September has passed.
3 more months and I shall be free from the chains of military obligations.

We are like regulars to Sentosa.
Maybe we should get the Islander card since we frequent there.
My wishlist for now:-

1) A 4-Man tent
2) A cooler box
3) A fucking big lantern
4) Portable electric fan
5) Extra sleeping bag
6) More condoms

Okay, maybe nos. 6 is out of the question.

2007-09-27T00:13:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday to me.
I am 21 years of age. WOW!

Soul-Searching Time: Being 21 doesn't just means a year older and wiser etcetera. Being 21 means that you have reached adulthood. Responsibilities adds up, mature of thought and action and having to look forward and plan for your future. This sucks. However, being 21 means that one has attained his/her freedom. Society would no more regard you as a minor, but a major part of society. And I can't wait to vote for the next General Elections!

She baked me a beautiful cake for me. Even without the company of lights and we were in the darkness by the beach, the day was beautiful. Thanks to the loved one. Tomorrow, the fam will be having a gathering in conjunction with my birthday. I feel so loved. Bah!

And yet tomorrow, I have to work.
FUCK!

2007-09-23T22:44:00.000+08:00

Her parents has already know about me.

Bah!

Its fine. Its better though. At least they know who is she going out with. A few tee-up from her about me. Thank God. Well, I guess its time to meet the fam. Aidilfitri will be the big day. Come to think of it, I'm prepared to face the music. I got my game up when it comes to parents. The folks always liked me. Right!

The fam will be having dinner together at home this Wednesday, in conjunction with my 21st birthday. My mum invited her to come along too. Wow! Unfortunately she ending class late so its impossible for her to make it. I guess Aidilfitri will be the big day for us then. HAH!

2007-09-19T19:54:00.000+08:00

I had a freaking bad start in the morning.

I arrived camp early but I took a nap since I slept late yesterday. I set the alarm on 0715HRS so as to prepare breakfast for the RSM Conference. However, I woke up at 0745HRS, awaken by the call from the office. I rushed down to the cookhouse, having to know that the food containers that I ordered the guys to put there was not in the cookhouse. I ran back to the store and grabbed 2 containers, however there was no trolley to ease my process of transporting the heavy containers there. SO I HAD TO CARRY IT ALL THE WAY AND MIND YOU, I WAS FUCKING RUNNING THERE! I called a few guys to help me out and all went well.

Except for getting fucked by my superior. What a start. Nevermind. I slept the whole day at work.

And I have posted my 4th single out onto my music page. It's entitled 'Singapura'. Please don't hesitate to visit and listen. Militant. Always be. I might get jailed for this. Hah! Rot in hell you ROBO-LEE!

Click click

2007-09-19T01:10:00.000+08:00

Spending two days with her was pure bliss. It seems that I can't get enough of her. Whenever we are together, it like we are in our own world. Magical.

Friday, okay?

Tomorrow's work. I feel like killing myself.

2007-09-16T19:32:00.000+08:00

It's soothing to hear the call of prayer.
Its been quite some time since I communicated with God.
And I am very thankful of Him for what I have now.
And I will never regret anything.

I was breaking fast alone in the cookhouse a few minutes ago. Sad. But being all alone during the evening with the simple company of pineapple coridal and smokes was a peaceful moment. Indeed, many things came through my mind. The meaning of contention. I recalled a post on the meaning of contention.

Indeed, I am far from contented, at this moment in time. Supportive family, friends that is always ready to hear my rants, and most importantly: A great girl in my life. Simply said; I have attained my Enlightenment. Well, maybe if I have my Nissan Skyline, the house by Sembawang beach and out of the Army, it would be full Enlightment. Bah!

Nonetheless, I am thankful of God.
I am thankful to have you in my life.
Love.

2007-09-15T23:44:00.000+08:00

I was going through my secondary school E-Yearbooks. Oh my God the memories. I look so 'kental' during lower secondary. Nerdy boy. Hah. I was going through the videos too and saw myself dancing during my last year in Folkdance Night. Very the watermelon sey. Nonetheless, the memories reminisced, what an experience.

I'm getting older.

I read some bulletin on the net about La-Salle School of The Arts. Most of the students prefer the old Goodman Road Campus, rather than the new building. I have to agree with the majority. Even though the old campus was like worn out, the nostalgic feeling was there. Drawings on walls. Freedom of artists to express themselves. Cosy canteen. However, the new building don't even have a canteen, as of what I heard. The classrooms are also incomplete and stuff like that. The old skool still persists in our hearts.

National Library. Books. Laughing at the apek sleeping on the couch.
How I wish I could kiss you right now.
Monday. Tuesday.
Dum de dums.

2007-09-15T09:47:00.000+08:00

I came across this article in the net. It touches on the subject of nice guys being left second while the jerks always get the ladies. Somehow, I agree with the author. Nice guys are insecure and lack of self-confidence. That is why the attraction is not there. Whereas jerks (or should I say, bad boys) have such qualities like unpredictability, confidence, dominance etc.

However, do not be mistaken on the fact that ALL bad boys have the following traits while nice boys do not. Just read this article. Agree with me. Heh.

The Nice Guy Syndrome

2007-09-13T22:42:00.000+08:00

You seem to amuse me each time.

By the way you would bulge your eyes when you consume your food.
By the way you would blow onto my neck for no apparent reason.
By the way you would give me that face when I stare upon your eyes.
By the way you react when I utter sweet words that are sincere from my heart.
By the way you cross your arms around mine when we sit in the train.
By the way you surprise me with the small things; for example, Redbull?
By the way you are able to bring a smile onto my face even when I have a shitty day.

You are so beautiful.
Thank you love.
Don't get stressed ya!

2007-09-13T22:26:00.000+08:00

Paperwork was a torture. It has been piling up since 2 weeks ago and I have to manhandle it on my own. Half-way through the process of completion. Tomorrow will be another day. And tomorrow I will be on duty. And so I will be on duty again on Sunday.

What a sad life.
I will be breaking my fast all alone in camp.
No matter.
It will be compensated with next Monday and Tuesday.
Off loh!

2007-09-12T17:00:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow's the start of Ramadan.
Lets do good during this holy month.

Less smokes.
Less cursing.
Less of what is detrimental to my life.

2007-09-11T11:14:00.000+08:00

Plenty of things happened this week.

Firstly, I would like to congratulate my good old friend who addresses himself as Brother Bear. Well, you proved us wrong on that particular notion. A well-versed player of the Game indeed my friend. Hah! Update me ya. Don't be like me! :p

Finally, I get to see my long -lost nephew. He has grown indeed and even knows how to call his grandfather affectionately as 'yayi'. And he is expecting a younger sibling and I am expecting another kiddo into the family.

And having to spent 5 days straight with that girl is indeed beautiful.
Hairspray later.
But right now I'm sort of pissed.
Nevermind. The sight of her always soothes the heart.

2007-09-06T00:55:00.000+08:00

I took MC for today.
I am at the pink of health.
Just lazy and wanting to spent time with the loved one.

I am never satisfied when it comes to spending time with her. Each time we reach Yio Chu Kang, I would be like sighing, begging her not to leave. Heh. Just to be in her warm embrace all the time. Wanting to be near her every minute. Next Saturday. 1 month. Fast huh. Heh. It is as if I knew her years ago.

Tomorrow I have to work. Damned.
Nevermind.
It is compensated on next Monday and Tuesday.
And I will be sleeping on my new 'bed'.

2007-09-05T00:56:00.000+08:00

After like days of losing sight of you.
To see you standing there was a beautiful scene.
I was resurrected, once again.

Finally, I am in your warm embrace.
I love you.

2007-09-03T21:45:00.000+08:00

Home sweet home.
How I miss my niece, and my sleeping mat.
Even though the bed at camp is more comfy.

We worked like dogs for two weeks. AHM prep, AHM itself, AOH prep, AOH itself and SAF Family Day. We don't even have the time to walk around Pasir Laba Camp to check out the cool stuff organised by the Army. Late nights. Unclear instructions. Leading a rabble of men. Getting pissed with the guys who don't make an effort to work. Tired. Shagged.

Finally its over.
And tomorrow is just minor stores.
And I can't even get to see my Significant Other.
So pissed.

Wishing you are in my arms.
Comfort me.
Heh.

2007-08-31T22:39:00.000+08:00

I blogging in camp. At 10.40pm and I am pissed.

I just hate the fact that when news spreads around through word of mouth, from the original source till the last man heard, it would be distorted. And this fact is giving people a bad impression of myself. And please don't judge a person when you have not even seen or meet him before. The fact that I was being bad-mouthed by some guy I didn't even know makes me want to give him a jab onto his dick.

Go and have sexual intercourse.

2007-08-30T00:12:00.000+08:00

Hectic 3 days. I am so freakishly shagged.
Fortunately tomorrow's already Thursday. Endure this torture and arrowing. Counting down the days till next Tuesday.

And I shall be there, standing there, waiting for your embrace.
I too, shall embrace you tight.
This time, I will not let go.