I am in the library doing research. Backtracking a bit...

Been a while since I last updated. Plenty of stuff happened. And plenty of work to be done too. This year's Aidilfitri was largely anticipated and I was wondering why when the past 3 years of Aidilfitri, I was not looking forward for it at all. Nevertheless, I still could not enjoy the celebration fully since I have 7 essays to complete and to handed up this month alone.

Busy Bee. Me.

I don't really know what to update anymore. I don't know what to pen down. My thoughts are flickered, and I don't understand what I am thinking sometimes. The environment change, people change. I am now lost, nowhere to go.

Fortunately, I have my dearest.
Though she keeps scolding me and stuff like that, I know that it is for my own good. To keep myself in lane with the game. What the hell.

I am still Hafiz
I am still iLLicit
I am still problematic

I am frustrated.
I applied for a loan from school to cover my expenses for the year, in order to support myself while I get a job. The shitty thing is that, the school used the money I borrowed to pay off the remaining fees, since I didn't get full subsidy from Mendaki. Now I have less for my expenses.

Time to get a fucking job.
Pronto.

Listening to Blackrose - Penantian

Old skool Malay Rock ROCKS! I have been hearing to these nostalgic evergreen beats since yesterday and yes, it brought out memories of the heydays. The weird thing is that I didn't realise the treasures inside my desktop. To hell with me. Nothing better than a cup of 'jiwang', hardcore old skoo' shit boyz.

We changed the room's arrangement by placing the two computer tables on the other side of the room, and placed the new printer beside it onto a small table. Finally, a printer. Utter convenience. Haiqal was disappointed since the printer was not colour-enabled, since laser colour printers costs a bomb. Hell. Whats the use of colour printers, when you can print outside at a cheaper price. There's Peace Centre and Sunshine Plaza.

I slacked during the weekends. I did not even touch on my readings. Being guilty of such, I will start in a while after blogging (I hope so). I did part of my essay today and I have to go to the library to grab some books on internet research for citations and references. Its due next Tuesday. I hope there's time.

I organised an iftar for the Army boys and will be meeting them this Friday. Dinner at Ojalali and some sheesha bongs at Arab Street. I've been wanting to go Arab Street because of the lights in line with Aidilfitri. Woohoo. We're gonna cause some havoc there. Drug Boyz.

And tomorrow I am going to my beloved Boo.
1 week have I not seen you.
Nonetheless, I will hold you tight and be one again.

I am currently mixing some beats together.
My initial plan tonight was to do my Political Science readings. Ended up discussing about music and making it. What the hell.

Its Kash's turn to produce the beat. We're planning to do a collabo again, this time on her terms. We agreed on doing a club anthem. I didn't want to steer away from my Conscious theme, but I have been secretly desiring to do a club mix and rap over it. Hope it goes well.

Ramadhan has been well. Its been 2 days now.

And I have 3 essay term papers to do and the first one is due next week. If I am not going to start now, I'll be dead meat. So tomorrow (or perhaps later in the morning), I'll be heading to the library and do my shit. And the Boo's Convo is on later on the evenings.

Will be meeting up my ex-classmates for breaking fast together, most probably this Thursday and also planning to have a gathering with the army boys, either on my birthday or Danny's birthday. Excited.

Beats . Under . Construction

Listening to Nu Jazz, Lush 99.5 yeah. I am sleepy and I have Political Science lecture in the morning later. Hell yeah.

I didn't go to work today. Not going anymore. I've been thinking a lot. I don't think I am able to juggle a part-time job, school and a CCA. Went down to school today with parents to sign some loan agreement form. I decided to take a substantial amount of money for my living expenses for this academic year. I need time to scout for other sources for dough.

God Bless you rich kids. We ghetto kids are the best.

Back to reality. Once again. I am not myself anymore. Ever since I started my phase of education, I had never studied for every night, every day. Now, its all a different ball game. Delirious Hafiz to Studious Hafiz. I got readings, reports, assignments. Readings and revision every night. I can't afford to loose out. Why am I like such?

Maybe its the transition phase.
I need a ciggie. Or maybe a stick of weed.

Boy aka Suhardi got married last Sunday. I went down to the reception and met up old pals. Miss them indeed. I was curious on the fact that Boy never mentioned about getting the knot tied anytime soon. For God's sake, he's 21. As I assumed. He and his wife had a little 'bump' down the road. Or maybe womb. Sheesh.

It a norm.
Society chooses to make it a taboo.
Big taboo.
Nonetheless, the company was great.
Anyone else getting married soon?

I am fucking happy right now.

I was surfing myspace and went into the World View Project website, to check if the album is out. To my suprise, the album was finally out. And what made me fucking elated was this.

iLLicit Interlude
vocals: iLLicit
beat: iLLicit

WHAT THE HELL! I am featured in the album, and i have my own slot in the CD and Awkword took my beat along with it. COOL OR WHAT. I can't wait to get hold of the CD and listen to fellow underground soldiers whom have contributed to the album. Hell.

Check it out here.

Im already starting on my lectures. Fortunately, its only introductory ones. At least for now. I am not yet in my academic ala study mode. I am taking up 5 modules and for each one, I have to do reports and essays and exams. The reality of school is coming back to me. What the hell. Brace yourself, Hafiz. Its gonna be a bumpy ride. University life is a whole new game.

I am shit broke and still in search for a part-time job. Other that schooling and working, Im have decided to join NUS's Electronic Music Lab. Dedicated in the learning, creative self-production and appreciation of Electronic music. This three years will be war. A starting point. I have to put my planning and organisational skills in place. Hectic, hectic. Im breaking my head to pieces.

As for now, gucci shades.
At least.

Time flies so fast when you are having fun. Seriously.

One year. Official. 080808. Still as strong.
We have been through thick and thin, together. Every laugh, every smile, every tear, every rant. My life revolves around you. Your charm, your grace, your lips, your gaze. Always as mesmerising from the first time I saw you. One year and counting. If God's willing, we shall be through till the end.

Every minute my feeling grows
Every second I love her more
Nurhuda,
With all my heart and soul

I love you. :)

What a week.

I went over to school for various orientation talks and hell. Some many things to remember yet so little time. University education is entirely new since its more of independence rather than 'friend-friend'. I feel somewhat alone, even though Indra and Amin and a few familiar faces we around. Back to school. What a drag.

I think 70% of the faculty's student body is made up of our fellow female compatriots.

My cousin got married today and it was indeed a joyous occasion. Even though I was freaking tired since I was at the kitchen area, helping out for two days, it was indeed fulfilling having to engage with your cousins. And I was absent from such for quite some time.

I editted both of my new songs and I love 'Salvation'. Seriously. Simple, yet powerful. I recorded my voice-overs back again since the previous one was plain and boring. Now its in full force. Check it out fellow friends.

Support local talent. Yeah.
I am going to see my beloved Boo later.
YEAY!

Its been a busy weekend. The fam had a thanksgiving yesterday at Marsiling. And my, the nieces and nephews are growing bigger. Nevertheless, I love them very much.

School is starting soon. 1 week , in 40 minutes exactly. And I am still searching for a part-time job. I got an interview offer as a camp facilitator under High Achievers. Some leadership seminar/camp shitty for shitty people. That could do. Inspire the young. Right. I might inspire them the wrong things.

Time is so thin. I lack the time I spent with the Boo though. She's very busy with the upcoming fashion show and school is starting next week for her too, and its her important year. I guess both of us have to make some time for each other.

Nevertheless,
Though we are apart, it feels stronger.
I love you.

Finally!

My new track entitled 'Free' is already complete. I failed to create an ambient twist to it since it more of progressive rather than Hip-Hoppish but I still love it. And I have a featured emcee in the track and she's known as Lady Kash. And I love that part also. Engage in my music, people.

http://www.myspace.com/illicitb

Hidayat came back to Singapore on Thursday and I met him yesterday when he came to pick me up. We chilled at Salleh's crib and came along Khairi Mok and later on, Mr Raja Ashraf aka nippleface. We talked the whole night and morning and decided to stop by Al-Amin because we were making too much noise in the wee hours of the morn. Old friends. Great stuff.

I spent my whole Saturday with the Boo and her parents. We went to a trip to Johor, since the main intention was to help me clinch great shopping deals. Honestly, the last time I stepped into Johor was like 5 years ago. (minus off the tagging-with-friends-to-fill-gastanks) We went to Jusco, Angsana, Danga Bay and City Plaza. Indeed, I had plenty of fun. To top it all up, we had nibblets at some warong somewhere. Cool or what.

After a day of shopping, I managed to obtain 3 tees, 2 jeans, 1 bermudas and 2 trucker caps. With only S$100. Fabulous indeed. And my favourites are my Akademiks Tee, in which retail prices would fetch around $80 but I managed to get it for $17, and my 2 truckers at only $15. Woohooo!

I will invade Johor soon. Very soon.

A week without work and lazing at home is indeed utterly fabulous. Coming home late at night and working long hours. I have enough of the shit. Peanuts pay. No welfare. For example, my grandfather passed away last Sunday (God, rest his soul in peace) and I was manning the outlet. I told my manager but he kept quiet so I told Boss and he just have to apologize and telling me that he can't let me leave early. Thanks a lot.

School is starting really soon. I have only 2 more weeks to chill before heading back into the realm of education ala brain-rejuvenation. There is plenty of admin to be done, but everything is smooth sailing, for now. And I am proud of myself for doing everything, including miscellaneous payments by myself. Time to get a new job.

I am stuck in my sister's crib and I can't proceed with my vocal recordings. Sometimes I pity my sister, since taking care of kids when they are still very young is quite a feat. A salute to all mothers. Thus, I am here helping her out to look after my niece while she tends to the newborn. My final musical product has to wait then.

Singfest is really the highlight this year. ALICIA KEYS is in the HOUSE MIGGAZ. Unfortunetely, tickets are selling for $300. To hell with it.

I have loved you. And I am still loving you. And I will love you.

I am freaking shagged. I worked for 13 hours yes terday and it was a Saturday. Plaza is packed with people and I was freakishly busy. I am tired of blending the avocados. Heh. ANd yet tomorrow I am going to start in the morning. Fortunatey I will be doing half shift. Wooo.

Anyway I am going to quit from my present job. Due to several reasons: stupid filipino supervisor, Management with no welfare, peanuts pay, school approaching,. Mostly its about the job itself. Next week will be the last. Anyone has 'lobangs'? Well, of course everyone has lobangs (holes). Whateverniggaz.

Finally. I finished penning down my rhymes for my next two songs. I only need chorus for the 'Free' song and an interlude featuring Lady Kash. And I need my microphone. ASAP.

I can't wait to get my hands on the Magix Music Maker 12 Deluxe and the Mini Condenser microphone, once it is delivered of course. I found a good deal from Ebay, since the music maker programme is sold around $100, which is the retail price. But I managed to get it at half the price from a local supplier on ebay. The condenser mic might be small, but just enough to record my raps and produce high quality sounds. Way to go jango!

Its mind-boggling, to know that when one doesn't have any spark, he would lay dormant for a long time. Only when that spark or inspiration comes, he would go all the way for his work of art, even though his brain was inactive for quite some time. It happened to me today. I perfected my 'Salvation' full length raps and already started on another song entitled 'Free'. I am already at my first verse and will be continuing later. And once I get my music gear, there will be more spark of brilliance spurting out from the dome.

We had a Canadian Pizza Feast yesterday. We had it take away and drove to Sembawang Beach and savoured our hefty lunch there. We couldn't take the heat nor the amount of food in our bellys so we headed to Northpoint Starbucks and surfed through friendster and laughed out loud about other people's profile. Lovely afternoon.

I feel a sudden emotion of sentimentalism, after listening to Apit and Gang songs from youtube. You can hear it from the video right below from the previous entry. Heh. Supple lyrics, nice voice and 'jiwang'. Damned my niggaz.

I used to write poetry, in Malay and compiled it into a compact disc. I typed word for word using the notepad program and burned in to the cd. That was like 8 years ago and I don't know where the hell is the cd. Alongside this compilation, I wrote bits and pieces on paper but I didn't keep those pieces of paper. What the hell. Call me jiwang or sissy. That is how I express my thoughts. Hah. What gives.

Hafiz Jango is my name. Unchanged.

Listen to this mat-reppers under the void deck ala da hood. He got a great voice though. Hah. Next Anugerah Star.

Finally. I finished reading Khadijah Hashim's trilogies, after 6 years rotting at the book shelves. I bought the books when I was in Secondary 3 and never got to finish everything until now. What the hell. I noticed that she likes to apply elements such as life, religion and love. Kudos. To me.


Alhamdulilah. My sister has given birth to a bundle of joy. Mr Adli Irfan is his name. He has the features of his father. Now, Iffah has a little brother and I have another nephew and we have another addition to the fam. He was suppose to come home from the hospital today, instead only my sister and brother-in-law came back without Adli. He is still under observation and only going to be released tomorrow. Hell. Babies are not guniea pigs.

I am going through my friendster friends' list. Checking out old friends that I have longed to see their faces and passing comments. Just a gesture. And I have quite a plenty of 'friends' in which added me even though they are from the Philippines or Indonesia or the USA. What the hell.

Finally, after 2 weddings and 1 engagement for 3 weeks consecutively, it is all over. I am seriously tired of doing the kitchen work. My cousin held his wedding reception today at Boon Lay. It is freaking tired. But then again, even though how much I hate the job, I will still do it, since I have been doing this wedding reception thingy ever since in primary school. It runs in the blood. Thanks to my over-large extended family, (both maternal and paternal sides) and my mother who keeps pestering me and my brother to help out for every wedding, even though the job is simple.

I noticed 2 teens who were helping us out with the dishes. They were clearing the excess food from the plates so that we could in turn, wash them. They were so slow and were afraid to get their hands dirty. Mind you. You are a guy. You are supposed to get your hands dirty and please do your work at a faster pace. But they were still willing to help so its okay. At least they are better than some people who just sit and talk and not help.

My sister is in the labour ward. Hopefully she will have a smooth delivery.
Another nephew. This family is getting bigger by the minute.